The divorce of many sets of parents is made more difficult by the question of who will have custody of the children. According to the findings of a study carried out and published on nearly every divorce website by psychologists at the Karolinska Institute in Sweden, despite the fact that the court typically rules in favor of one parent, neither parent is necessarily better for the mental health of the child. When both parents have custody of their child, the child’s mental health benefits the most. Babies who, from an early age, are able to spend time with both of their parents exhibit fewer indicators of emotional and behavioral discomfort.
Trying to save a marriage for the sake of one’s children can come at a heavy cost, as can the alternative of bringing up one’s children in a home where there is constant arguing rather than facing the fact that one’s parents are going to divorce. Following the conclusion of a divorce, it may be challenging to keep a civil relationship with the other parent. That’s why we prepared this article for you, so you could understand the approach you need to take in your situation.
Co-parenting, or joint parenting
Method whereby both of the child’s biological parents contribute to the child’s upbringing and maintenance even though they signed online divorce forms on DivorceCanBeSimple and are not involved in a romantic relationship with one another. The mutual intention of beginning a family and taking responsibility for the upbringing of a child or children serves as the driving force behind such a union.
Joint parenting is more likely to be prevalent in nations where the institution of marriage has been present for a long time but has been updated in comparison to nations in which the incidence of joint parenting is relatively low. Once upon a time, members of the LGBT community considered co-parenting agreements, as well as egg and sperm donation, to be the ideal situation. However, recent research indicates that there is a growing interest in co-parenting among heterosexuals in the West who want to have a child with someone but are not yet ready for a romantic relationship. This demographic includes people who want to have a child with someone who is not their partner.
This strategy seems to offer the greatest potential benefits to parents who have been married in the past but are now filing for divorce. Co-parenting requires an open line of communication, the ability to be flexible, and the ability to negotiate.
You have to stay in touch with your ex, but the way you talk to him or her should change from being romantic to being friendly and helpful. It might be difficult to move on after making the decision to end a relationship for the first time. Therefore, it does not hurt to go through many consultations with a family psychologist in order to control interactions between adults, improve life, and adjust to a new way of living.
Parallel Parenting
Unfortunately, not all people who end up romantically involved with each other are able to form friendships that are sufficiently close. Additionally, some people aren’t interested in having it at all. When concessions aren’t an option and neither parent wants to maintain a cordial relationship with the other, co-parenting can turn into a living hell for everyone involved in the situation. They continue to argue with each other and place their children in the middle of the conflict rather than sorting things out in a civilized manner. There will be no place for compromise, and the child will suffer both in the short term and in the long term as a result of the bad impacts that are associated with destructive conflicts. People who are confronted with their parents’ arguments on a regular basis are more likely to struggle with mental health concerns, cardiovascular diseases, illnesses of the immune system, difficulties in learning and focusing, as well as behavioral challenges.
Parallel parenting is a strategy that can be effective in situations in which it is challenging for exes to reach an agreement after filling out divorce forms. While the parents have one-way communication with their child, they have very little touch with one another. If this is the situation, switching to the most appropriate business language could be of assistance.
Choose to engage in brief, constructive correspondence rather than emotionally charged and verbally combative exchanges; decide on significant matters in advance. If you are unable to come to an agreement with one another, you should seek the assistance of a third party to help you address the matter. This might be a family mediator, a psychologist, or an attorney.
Guest Parenting
This one can be also an option in high conflict households. When a married couple divorces and the parents decide to move to different locations (such as different states or even different countries), this is known as “guest parenthood». Because it is impossible to offer two homes that are equally beneficial for the child, one parent takes on the primary responsibility of caring for the child, while the other parent periodically “visits,” spends time with, or travels with the child.
If the second parent makes an effort to build a relationship and attachment with the child, this strategy can be helpful if it is chosen voluntarily, and if it is convenient for all parties involved. However, this only holds true if it is possible for the second parent to do so. It is of the greatest priority in this scenario to provide the child with the tools by which they can independently communicate with the parent who is in a distant location, as this helps to build a habit for remote connection.
In the same way as co-parenting, it is in the best interest of the child and the family as a whole for the two parents to be able to maintain friendly relations even while they are physically separated from one another.
Extended family
Patchwork families, also known as extended families, have grown increasingly prevalent in today’s society as a direct result of the normalization of previously stigmatized life events such as divorce and remarriage. A family is considered to be blended if the parents have previously been married but have subsequently remarried, and the new spouse is actively involved in the childrearing (https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-11678029/TikToker-compiles-massive-list-reasons-not-children-creates-honest-dialogue-pregnancy.html) of the children from the first marriage. One category of patchwork family comprises of polyamorous couples who raise their offspring together as a blended family unit.
The extended family consists of parents, their new partners, children from all marriages, and sometimes other newfound relatives: additional grandparents, aunts, cousins, and nephews. It turns out a rather large group of people who are not always connected by blood ties, but communicate with each other, build relationships with each other and with “common” children, partially or completely fulfilling parental functions in their lives. So the child has “patchwork” parents, grandfathers, grandmothers, and so on. From the point of view of attachment theory, this is a good situation, because as a result he is surrounded by a large number of significant adults who can provide care and attention.
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