Marriage is a beautiful bond between two people. While it has its endearing moments, marriage is not without its challenges. Whether a couple got married a few months ago or some decades back, it poses a variety of trials and tribulations. However, you and your partner can overcome these obstacles if you want to keep the marriage from falling apart. While you two can communicate with each other to solve your issues, sometimes external intervention is vital, and a family and marriage therapist does precisely that.
Before discussing why couples need counseling, let’s see what the role of a therapist is in saving a marriage.
Role of Marriage Counselors in Therapy
Family and marriage counselors can play a vital role in bridging the gap between a couple drifting apart. Seven out of 10 couples find that marriage therapists can help improve their marital satisfaction. However, that does not mean it works for everyone. Therapists do not have a magic wand to heal the cracks in the foundations of your marriage.
A marriage therapist makes you realize the problems you already know in your marriage but probably won’t admit. But for the therapy to work, you need to work with them and commit to saving your marriage.
Similarly, a therapist also needs to be professionally committed to the couple and help them through the rough patch in their married life. They should act as problems solvers but let the couple take the initiative and not dictate them. Their role is to bridge the gap, not cross it for the couple. Knowing how to become a family and marriage therapist is not enough; therapists need to develop several interpersonal skills and relationship-building tactics to help couples.
Reasons Why Couples Need Counseling
If you have been married for a while or are about to get married, there are a few red flags to notice and get yourself into marriage counseling.
- Premarital Counseling
Some people prefer to be prepared before tying the knot by getting into premarital counseling. The couple can learn how to work as a team in these sessions to establish the foundations of a healthier marriage. They learn how to communicate effectively without ending up arguing. Moreover, these sessions guide them to talk about important things like managing finances, religious beliefs, future goals, having children, etc.
- Poor Communication
One of the primary reasons couples get divorced is the lack of proper communication between the individuals. Due to poor communication, the couple starts drifting apart because both individuals feel distant from each other. When they no longer know what the other person is thinking or feeling, resolving conflicts becomes impossible. As a result, it contributes to stress, lack of intimacy, and ultimately, infidelity.
Getting in touch with a family and marriage therapist can benefit a couple suffering from a lack of proper communication. Marriage therapists can help couples improve their communication to resolve their conflicts and avoid drifting apart.
- Excessive Arguments
Healthy couples also argue every once in a while. But if arguments become a natural mode of communication between the couple, they need counseling. When couples start releasing their anger in the form of negative speech, it can leave them feeling unloved, unvalued, insecure, withdrawn, and depressed. When the feelings of love, respect, and support start vanishing from a relationship, it starts to fall apart.
- Infidelity and Unfaithfulness
Often, when a couple seeks marriage therapy, it is because one of the two has been unfaithful in marriage. This type of betrayal is one of the hardest ones to recover from because knowing your partner cheated on you can be tough. Most couples split up after such an incident because they cannot work through the pain of being betrayed no matter how sorry the other person is. In such a situation, counseling for couples can be beneficial to help them learn how to trust each other again.
- Sexual Problems
In a healthy relationship, physical and sexual intimacy has a vital role. It can create strong bonds between couples, but it can also cause stress and anxiety. When a couple stops being physically intimate with each other, it can lead to several problems like emotional distance, insecurity, resentment, and a decline in affection for the spouse. As a result, most people end up having extramarital affairs. In order to avoid such problems, it can be beneficial to go to a marriage therapist who will help the couple reconnect.
The Bottom Line
Marriage is not easy, and it comes with a set of challenges, but if a couple is committed to staying together, come what may, they will find a way. One proven method of working through your differences in a marriage is family and marriage counseling. However, for counseling to work, both partners must be committed to making their marriage work. If they get into therapy, they must do so with an open mind to listen to their partner and the therapist. If they commit to listening to their partner’s concerns and working on resolving their conflicts, their chances of saving their marriage are relatively high.
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